Are You a Backseat Driver But Don’t Realise It? Read This to Find Out

Automologist MAC knows all the traits of a backseat driver…because he married one. 

I used to enjoy the outings with my family in our car until a few years ago when I made a fundamental mistake – I encouraged my wife to drive. There is of course nothing wrong with your wife driving; I was raised in a house where mum did just about all the driving, so having a lady drive me around is perfectly natural. No chauvinism here on that one. But it would appear that I have created a monster. Gone are the carefree days when I could meander through city traffic as I saw fit—oh no, those days are long gone. Now I receive an almost unending ear-bashing about my driving habits from ‘she who must be obeyed’, also known as the wife.

Gasping when I hit the brakes a little too sharply, reminding me about the speed limit, using an imaginary brake, telling me I am VERRRRY close to other traffic and telling the Sat-Nav off for wrong directions are just a few of the many annoying habits she has picked up.

So here are my top thirteen fave-hates when I am behind the wheel and my wife is not:

1. Disagreeing with the Sat-Nav and then giving me contradictory directions. (Actually, I love it when she does this and we get lost.)
2. Exaggerated ‘acting’ display, such as covering of face with hands; this also covers deep inhalations of breath and tutting. Sweetheart, just say it.
3. Fiddling with the controls, especially the air-con controller.
4. Waving thanks to other motorists on my behalf (especially when I didn’t want to thank them).
5. Getting road rage on my behalf.
6. Changing the music or just turning down the volume. I am a rocker, I like it LOUD!
7. Pressing the imaginary brake pedal. (Actually, this often makes me laugh which is usually when the argument starts.)
8. Reminding me to put on my seat belt.
9. Giving advice on which lane I should be in.
10. Reading out road signs, especially speed limits, to demonstrate that perhaps I should modify my driving.
11. Flinching, for any reason at all, but especially when she thinks I am about to hit another driver even when I am clearly miles away……..okay, inches.
12. Telling me to indicate, particularly when I am already in a turning lane.
13. Telling you that she told you to slow down just as the cops stop you for speeding.

So, if you tick the boxes above, you too are a backseat driver. And thus, if I ever offer you a lift, it may be best to take the bus. My wife, though, is actually a very good driver and perhaps I should listen to her a little more, and I wouldn’t have gotten that ticket at the weekend.